Play? For a long time, play was not something I knew how to access, not because I didn’t want to, but because somewhere along the way I had learned that it wasn’t allowed for me. I had become very good at doing all the “right” things: walking 10,000 steps a day, eating healthy, meditating, exercising regularly, and from the outside it looked like I was deeply committed to self-care, while on the inside I had completely lost the ability to listen to what I actually needed.

At the age of 24, my body stepped in and forced me to stop. I burned out (yes, that young) and it was only then that I began to understand how disconnected I had been from myself. I decided to leave home and travel, and I have been living abroad ever since, hoping that distance, movement, and new environments would somehow bring clarity or relief.

Along the way, I immersed myself in breathwork trainings and yoga teacher trainings, genuinely believing that I was healing, until I slowly realized something uncomfortable: I wasn’t really changing the pattern, I was repeating it. The “more, better, harder” mindset was still there, only now it was dressed up as growth, discipline, and spiritual development. What I thought was healing was often just survival mode wearing a different costume.

Eventually, it became too much. Something in me knew it had to stop.

That was the moment The Noniz began to emerge, small inner characters, different parts of me, each with their own voice, rhythm, and needs, all finally allowed to exist without being pushed aside or corrected. Through them, play slowly found its way back into my life, not as something productive or useful, but as a way of being present, curious, and alive again.

What I’ve come to understand is that survival mode may once have protected my system, but it was never gentle, and over time it became exhausting. Play, on the other hand, offers something entirely different: softness, permission, and space to breathe. And that is the experience I now feel called to share. WELCOME HERE! 💛